Miscarriage and showing Empathy

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I don’t understand human feelings sometimes. The pain we feel… how do we express it? If we show it, we are often said to be over emotional. If we don’t show it, we are said to be heartless. So is there really a mid way?

Today, my sister had a miscarriage. She is devastated obviously. This is what people (close relatives) were saying to her or about her:

“You shouldn’t feel sad. It is just a normal thing. No big deal” 

“You should have taken better care of yourself. You worked too hard those last few days, and now the baby is gone. Think of the baby next time.”

“Don’t worry, she can try again next month or the next.”

Now, i don’t claim to be one with emotions so much… but i highly doubt this is a healthy approach. I was weird-ed out by how they responded. Some were plain rude. If i can keep her in a bubble, i would. But i know people are mean and cruel at times.. and  she will have to face the world with this news one day. And people… they will come up with some way to comment on her situation, and relate it to their pregnancy experience as close relative already have done.

People can feel upset. Be it miscarriage or any form of sad news that may come in their way. Whatever happened to just hold their hands and listen to them? Why the need to comment on things, pass out judgement and make things worse?! Don’t they understand what might be going on in her head? How much guilt she might be feeling when they say such words? I, for one, wanna throw a brick at them -_-

Honestly, my sister wasn’t overemotional or anything. Even if she was, she has EVERY right to be. She cried for a bit and now she is a bit calm. Me, other sisters and her husband are with her to make sure she is not lonely. I just wish people were more empathetic.

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